I don't know about you guys, but I'm tired of this crap! The Federal Government getting in our business, telling us what we can and can't do. Not to mention that all of this garbage is coming from a black man! Wasting our hard earned tax dollars on frivolous things like only a black could! What's happened to this once great country of ours? When a Texan could hold their head up high and only look down a little on the rest of the poor saps in the country.
I tell you, it's a sad state of affairs we find ourselves in! Clearly, there's only one road left for us Texans: get off this sinking ship before we go down with it! That's right!
Secede!
Secede!
Secede!
It's time for us to take our toys and leave!
It's going to work this time, too! We'll have the law on our side! There's nothing in the Constitution that says we can't go if we don't want to. Besides, we're the only state that was a country before we entered the union, that MUST mean we can quit when we want!
Never mind that the last time we tried leaving the union we got beat down like step children, if it comes down to it, we can take the US this time! That pesky civil war was just a sham! Yeah, never mind all that!
More importantly, if our great Governor Rick Perry says we can do it, then it has to be true! A fine upstanding man like that would never lie to the public! Have you seen his hair? A man with hair that good doesn't lie, you can take that to the bank! So if he says we can secede, we can!
When we leave the US we're going to be fine too! We have our fine neighbors to the south who would definitely recognize our independent nation-hood! They got over wanting us back a long time ago, so they wouldn't be any trouble at all. Even if, for some reason, they went crazy and attacked us we'd be good. We'd just call in the Marines and the Army... What? We wouldn't have any military force to protect us other than the state militias? Well who needs the military? Our militias will be better than any army or marine any day of the week! We've got hunters blood running through our veins and we would be successful against any threat foreign or domestic!
Lastly, we'd be good because I said so! And that's good enough for any country to be!
On Leading—and Leaving—Texas Monthly
6 hours ago